A friend of mine got married today. I am over the moon for her, and her husband, and their 2 beautiful boys. I wish them nothing but the best in their lives together, and in honor of their special day I'd like to pass on some sure-fire tips for a happy marriage.
I'd like to, but I can't. There are no sure-fire tips for a happy marriage, because every marriage is different. I can, however, pass on some tips that have worked for me in all my years of wedded bliss.
1. Don't be an asshole. Really. It's that simple. Take into account the fact that there are 2 people in the relationship, and they aren't both you. Husbands have feelings and opinions too...even if they're wrong. Listen, and don't discount him.
2. Dress to impress. This one is a little 1940s-50s, I know, but I still think it's important. I like sweat pants as much as (more than) the next girl. But, when my husband walks in from a long day at work, I don't think he wants me to greet him in the same outfit I wear when I have the stomach flu.
3. Try to make things easier for each other. Pack a lunch, iron a shirt, whatever. Doing those kinds of things doesn't show that you're inferior. It just shows that you care.
4. Have your own interests. If I had to force myself to pretend that I love video games, I would go completely freaking insane. I am a nerd. I like books. My husband respects that, and I respect that he is a nerd who likes video games. We can sit next to each other, happily ignoring one another.
5. Do not gossip about your husband to your girlfriends. Just don't. Ever. You may forgive him for whatever he's done to make you angry, but your girlfriends won't. They're like elephants. They'll never forget. Write it in a diary. Call your mom. Get a therapist. Just do not air your dirty laundry. Once it's out there, you can't take it back.
6. Victoria's Secret.
7. Laugh at/with each other. Everything is easier to deal with when you have a sense of humor. Housework, kids' tantrums, grocery shopping...there's humor in everything. Find it together.
That's it. In nearly 11 years, that's all the wisdom I've acquired. I'm still learning a little more every day. But, the one thing I know for sure is that marriage is not a job, though sometimes it does require hard work. It's more like an adventure. Enjoy every day.